Blokelore & Blokesongs

Robert ConquestPublication: July 2nd, 2012

£8.99

In this hilarious and irreverent new collection, Robert Conquest, now in his 95th year, lets us in on the musings of Old Fred, a man reflecting on the battle of the sexes, and wholly impervious to notions of political correctness. The poems give witty expression to a mind at once resigned and optimistic, baffled and amused, stoical and exuberant.

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ISBN: 978-1-904130-48-2 Extent: 72pp Category: Tag:

Blokelore & Blokesongs

“All Conquest’s strengths are evident here – wit, love of life, ferocious technique, and the infinite taking of pains.” – Martin Amis

“Never has blokishness appeared so witty, clever and charming as in these irresistible verses by Robert Conquest. Fred is the bloke whose lore this is, and Conquest treats us to Fred’s robust male view of the opposite sex with a disarming candour. Only a first-rate poet could have written stanzas of such deceptive lightness and ease, engagingly propounding Fred’s solidly masculine but far from simple sexual philosophy.” – Selina Hastings

“Fred Faraday may be Robert Conquest’s liveliest poetic invention to date. Fred was a philosopher – of life, to be sure, but with a particular interest in the progress of the battle of the sexes. His ‘blokesongs’ are seasoned dispatches from behind the lines, where Fred frequently scouted (with copies of Ovid and Juvenal in his rucksack). Kingsley Amis’s Welsh traveling salesman Dai Evans – another glorious bloke – would have enjoyed lifting a few pints with Fred, his elder and worldlier comrade-in-arms. Old Fred clearly won more battles than he lost, but to Conquest go the spoils!” – David Yezzi

"To pay tribute to an exceptionally worthy man is to realize once more that there is no equality in the republic of arts and letters … Robert Conquest, though he is the author of several scholarly books, is a poet, and I wish him much free time to pursue his true vocation….In the history of modern poetry, Conquest occupies a permanent place." – Czeslaw Milosz, National Review

"… in addition to imperishable works of modern history…he has been one of our most distinguished poets (and critics of poetry)." – Christopher Hitchens, TLS, February 15, 2006

"A strong and individual voice talking about things that matter … hard energetic movement … lucidity and power." – Thom Gunn, Spectator

"Of Conquest’s many moods and modes, two seem foremost here: a sometimes unabashedly erotic love poetry and a well-tuned way with light verse … Conquest writes with great subtlety and often with great tenderness. – David Yezzi, New Criterion

"Characterized by an emotional generosity and nobility of style … He is one of the few who can write about love without either gushing or sniggering." – D.J. Enright, The Month

*… a poet of distinction … honourable, courageous and deeply civilised. – George Walden, Sunday Telegraph

"The measured confident richness of a poet who knows his own full power, resource and sincerity." – John Holloway, Hudson Review

"Conquest’s poetry is marked by intellectual clarity, technical skill, the assertion of traditional values, and a strongly romantic sensibility, all of which lend firmness and coherence to his most accomplished work. His poetry, which yields a keen, civilized pleasure, bears witness to the values and traditions in which he believes." – Contemporary Poets

"… his verse and prose alike display the virtues of scholarship, intelligence, and lucidity, proclaiming a belief in the value of rational discourse, formal strength, and the power of reason to check and guide the emotions by which we live." – John Press, Dictionary of Literary Biography

Reviews of Blokelore & Blokesongs

TLS, 19.4.2013
“Conquest’s formidable reputation as a historian … should not distract from his parallel achievement as a poet, critic and cultural arbiter who had his first poems published in 1937 … Here Conquest restricts himself to straightforward four-line stanzas with regular rhymes and jaunty metres, a deceptively simple form that gives immediate pleasure and is naggingly memorable … This is … a very entertaining and sprightly collection." – David Collard

Fred at a Wedding

Fred’s been to marriages before
(Though mostly to his own).
He stifles, if perhaps no more
Than other chaps, a groan

At tedium, cramp, a shirt too tight …
But shudders as he spies
The awful air of triumph bright
In all the female eyes.

And his discomfort grows profound
As if he had to view
A lot of lionesses round
A poor sod of a gnu.

Fred Faces Facts

If Blanc de Blancs and Blanc de Noirs
(Fred muses, rather pissed)
Are possible, as most things are,
Can Noir de Blancs exist?

His reason tells him in a tick
This is the merest dream.
But is his intellect so quick
When women are the theme?

Not without effort. For he’ll let
His fantasy grow fond
Of, let us say, a blonde brunette
(A sort of Brune de Blondes),

With eyes of blackly hazel-blue
And skin all ivory-tanned;
Tall, tiny; slim and buxom too;
Huge breasts that fit the hand.

– Such dreams he can return to store
(Albeit with regret),
But others come which lure chaps more
Insidiously yet:

A temperamental and serene
Bohemian home-girl type;
A poule de luxe of modest mien,
Mature and not yet ripe;

Demure, farouche; unspoilt and chic …
Of course the lesson is
He shouldn’t actually seek
For contradictories.

So when he toasts a girl in Brut,
From Ay or Avise slopes,
Fred take the realistic view
– Or so he says he hopes.

——————————-

Footnote
Girls aren’t exempt. Their dreams evoke
(Fred hears it every day)
The strong and independent bloke
Who’ll do just what they say.

Excerpts

Fred at a Wedding

Fred’s been to marriages before
(Though mostly to his own).
He stifles, if perhaps no more
Than other chaps, a groan

At tedium, cramp, a shirt too tight ...
But shudders as he spies
The awful air of triumph bright
In all the female eyes.

And his discomfort grows profound
As if he had to view
A lot of lionesses round
A poor sod of a gnu.

Fred Faces Facts

If Blanc de Blancs and Blanc de Noirs
(Fred muses, rather pissed)
Are possible, as most things are,
Can Noir de Blancs exist?

His reason tells him in a tick
This is the merest dream.
But is his intellect so quick
When women are the theme?

Not without effort. For he’ll let
His fantasy grow fond
Of, let us say, a blonde brunette
(A sort of Brune de Blondes),

With eyes of blackly hazel-blue
And skin all ivory-tanned;
Tall, tiny; slim and buxom too;
Huge breasts that fit the hand.

– Such dreams he can return to store
(Albeit with regret),
But others come which lure chaps more
Insidiously yet:

A temperamental and serene
Bohemian home-girl type;
A poule de luxe of modest mien,
Mature and not yet ripe;

Demure, farouche; unspoilt and chic ...
Of course the lesson is
He shouldn’t actually seek
For contradictories.

So when he toasts a girl in Brut,
From Ay or Avise slopes,
Fred take the realistic view
– Or so he says he hopes.

-------------------------------

Footnote
Girls aren’t exempt. Their dreams evoke
(Fred hears it every day)
The strong and independent bloke
Who’ll do just what they say.